are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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