Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize