What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
