her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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