had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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