I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
