that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
