Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
