i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
