when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
