Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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