i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
