Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
