Slut skills are useful in every country.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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