No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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