Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
