Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
