I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
