I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
