Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
