I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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