when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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