She went from zero to smokin in five shots
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize