Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
