super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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