pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
