2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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