tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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