Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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