Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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