Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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