But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
