I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
