Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
