Your tits are I can't wait for
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
