You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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