At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
