I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
