He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
