I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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