i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
