That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
