I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This house was built for laser tag.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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