Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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