Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
