i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
