Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
