how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
