porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Mom said you looked used
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
