Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
