I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
tell me about the eggs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
