I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The Olympian is in my bed
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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