It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
