she is the kim kardashian of front butts
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
