Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
