Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize