found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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