i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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